The important and the not important

A few important things...

I am worried about myself. I am constantly living in fear of having "the big one"...the attack that sends me to the E.R. in the middle of the night. My gall bladder hurts, it's sort of constantly aching now. I don't think this is okay, and I feel like it's leading up to something big and painful. It really scares me, I am starting to really doubt I will make it to next Thursday, and next Thursday is only my "consoltation" appointment, not the surgery itself. The past few days I haven't been able to sleep on my right side because it's uncomfortable and makes me worry...I usually sleep on that side. I am sick of the fear of pain controlling my life. I didn't eat anything before the concert yesterday because I was so afraid I would have an attack during the show or while driving. I hate living like this. Travis is supposed to come tomorrow and I can't help but feel like shit thinking "why do I always have these attacks the day before he comes and ruin our fun? I hate this. I hate my stupid body.

I am starting to come to the conclusion that more than likely I will be here in Athens through the Fall quarter. The time is almost here to sign up for summer graduation, and with taking at least a week off for surgery and with at least 2 weeks I will be away this summer...I just don't know how I am gonna finish this all. To make things easier...Becky also has to stay, we're considering making finding a place together. I hope it works out.

A few not very important things...

My ears still aren't right since the concert last night. I am bearly hearing anything out of my right ear, the one that was facing the speakers.

I have been working on a new mood theme...I love Tori, but I felt like a change. So I am now introducing an Amelie theme I created over the last few days.